What ever happened to being an A man?

Ok, so I probably shouldn't admit this, being the proud alpha male I am, but last week I went to the cinema to watch Twilight Saga: New Moon. I know, I know... my status as an alpha male is in jeopardy, but hey I went to see Sex and the City so I guess I've been on shaky ground for a while! The worst thing about this is I hadn't even seen the first movie so I had no idea of the love between Edward, the 'vegetarian' vampire with a soul (ummm where have I heard that before, Joss Whedon might just want to sue someone) and teenage high schooler Bella.

Now I will admit, I was drawn quickly in to what is a visually stunning and surprisingly well written, acted and directed romance movie where the Bedward (that's Bella & Edward for those who don't know) chemistry is evident and that may be the very reason for this post. New Moon centres on the love triangle that forms when Edward leaves to keep Bella sage. Apparently being around blood thirsty vampires isn't exactly the best way to make it to your 19th birthday. Anyway, I digress, Bella starts hanging out with Jacob, who had obviously been eating some steroid shaped spinach and is now a hard as nails, vampire killing werewolf, and the thrid part of an interspecies love triangle the likes of which the cinema going public has never seen!

Now my issue is not about the film or even the tweenagers in the audience cackling every five seconds. No my problem rests purely on what is generally the emasculation of men. I'm pretty sure it started with Adrien Brody being cast as the leading man in Peter Jackson's King Kong. Our latte sipping hero fought the island's beasties, saved the girls and still had time to write loving prose and pretty much rewrote what it meant to be an alpha male. Even though Naomi Watts' Anne had another option (yes I know he was an 50 foot ape, but in essence he was the embodiment of the stereotypical alpha male).

Fast forward a few years to Twilight, where, for lack of a better descriptive term, Edward the vampire skulks about the place like an emo. He may be 109 years old but he has the emotional intelligence of a Fallout Boy listening 14 year old. God, he looked like he was going to cry in almost every scene and even when he had to show a little bit of fight when taking on the Vulturi to save Bella's life, he got his ass handed to him - repeatedly. And Jacob, the other member of this love triangle, the physically imposing werewolf who spent most of the movie saving Bella's life (from vampires, other werewolves and herself) while keeping her mind occupied was cast as the also ran to RPatts' emo vampire. Once again, the alpha male is recast as the undesirable, leaving Edward to cry his way back into Bella's heart.

But you know what, maybe I'm being harsh, maybe Edward really is a hero, maybe he's not a 100 year old cry baby. (I've since been told that if I had watched the first movie, I would be more sympathetic to Bedward and their love, but as it stands I'm not convinced). I'll save ultimate judgement until the next film though, but for now, I'm squarely in the Wolfpack even if that finishes off the job watching Sex and the City started!

Janet Jackson - you're still my homegirl!

I never watch the X-Factor. Ok that's a lie, but I never watch the live performances. Ok that's a lie too, but I only watch the live performances when there are guest artists worth watching. And in the past few weeks there have been some great performers (if not performances)… we've had cracked out Whitney, the gorgeous Alicia Keys and on Saturday we had the undeniable Janet Jackson.

With the sixth month anniversary of Michael's death fast approaching, I was feeling a little blue but watching Janet perform made me feel a whole lot better. I immediately remembered Rhythm Nation, Nasty and all the other great songs you've given us over the years. And the funny thing is that the void left by Michael's death might just have a little Janet shaped space in it. You helped to remind me that the Jackson legacy is much more than just one man (albeit a great man) and you are still very much alive! So here's to you Janet Jackson, I can't wait for the new album!

Check out the new single here

I miss the 80's...

It's been a while since I updated you guys and I apologies... I will endeavour to be better at this, but with work, social life and just trying to get some rest I've had hardly any time. But you know what, being a busy bee has me thinking of a time when things were so much simpler.

The days of Mr.Freeze, Buckaroo, Dandelion and Burdock, Hulk Hogan (before Brooke). Those were the days when summer's where endless, you were never cold and the only monetary problem you had was having enough for a 10p pack of Chewits and a pack of football cards with the pink bubble gum.

So just in case any of you 80's babies were feeling the same way, here's a videos that made me feel a little better.

Enjoy! Legoman Out!

Lauren London love....

Ok so I don't usually talk about fashion on this blog... I leave that to the experts. But I was watching Keri Hilson's video 'Knock You Down' and was admiring Kanye's leather jacket and Ne-Yo's black cardigan (because let's face it, it's a video that you'd probably watch with the volume down - Keri, I love you, but the only thing the videos got going for it is the styling, the tune is dryer than a Sahara crossing camel's right ass cheek!)

So usually when I like the clothes from a video I spend an age looking for either the item or an almost identical copy. Well on my Internet search, I came across my new favourite site and knew I needed be the one to share it to you. Basically you can watch a music video, hover over an item and find out where to get it as well as a load of other information on the artists or set design and I fell in love with the concept. A lot like the way I've fallen in love with Lauren London (completely superficially and without any prior knowledge - but that's still love right?)

Ummmm, Lauren London, she's so purdy! Sorry excuse me, I get a little carried away sometimes. Back to business... I'm going out on a limb here and stating that I think it's only a matter of time before we're sitting down watching [insert favourite show here] on an interactive TV and buying new clothes at the click of a button. You heard it hear first! Anyway, check out the video and see what you think (although you may want to watch it with the sound down - sorry Keri!)

Wierd Science

I was watching ITV the other day – there is an unsubstantiated rumour that the programme I was watching was the ‘Xtra-factor’. And that is just what it is, a rumour and an unsubstantiated one at that! Anyway, I digress I was watching ITV and an advertisement, probably funded by some government agency, trying to boost the number students choosing to study science came on. On its own this piece of news is as unremarkable as an unremarkable object sitting in a grey room surrounded by other unremarkable things.

But when this is taken with the news (I was watching BBC Breakfast the following morning) that health and safety fears are forcing science teachers to stop children participating in experiments - urging them to watch experiments on the internet instead, then the news suddenly became as ridiculous as Tom Hank’s hair in ‘The Da Vinci Code’!

So the best way of getting children interested in science is to remove as much hands on experience as you can from their lessons and bore them with endless theory? Quick, someone catch me, I think I’m about to faint from the thought of all that excitement. Now this kind of gets my goat on a few levels...
God isn't it lucky that the Health & Safety experts are here to ensure the survival of the human race. I mean it’s not like humans managed to exist for millions of years before they began helpfully pointing out every potential harmful chemical, situation or routine for us. Seriously, I read a report the other day that said children shouldn't be allowed to play in parks because there is lead in the soil. LEAD IN THE SOIL!!!! That’s the whole reason? When I was a kid I’m pretty sure I ate a lot of mud, and guess what I’m still here and I don’t have a foot where my ear should be!

I mean why try to eliminate the practical element of learning when surely it’s one of the best methods of teaching; not only by engaging students but by also teaching them the basics of handling laboratory equipment? That’s an important skill that will be required if they decide to continue in their scientific studies or careers – surely Lab Technicians started somewhere?

I remember when I was studying A-Level Chemistry and even at GCSE Chemistry, we were encouraged to develop a respect for the laboratory and its chemicals, something this ruling would rob from budding scientists. Any really dangerous experiments were done by our teacher or the lab assistant behind a screen – but we still got to experience them!

Honestly, I find it difficult to fathom why we as a society have become so afraid of everything causing us damage. Obviously there are risks to everything we do but if we all lived our lives according to those risks, none of us would leave the bloody house – simply sitting in our padded living rooms, slurping liquidised meals through ergonomically designed straws that disintegrate upon with anything other than our exact genetic material.

Don’t worry though; they would have been designed by scientists that learnt how to do it from the internet!

The reasons...

When bad things happen, it's usually easy to get bogged down in the reasons. The why's and the how's of the event. That's exactly where I should find myself this morning while dealing with the aftermath of a theft. But in reality I am in a completely different mental space.

Having been picked pocketed in Clapham, I spent my entire evening and most of this morning sorting through the madness of cancelling cards, requesting new ones and discovering the thief had access to my pin number and has taken a substantial amount from my account.

Even though I am annoyed (not only because I've been robbed but because I wasn't even drunk when it happened) and it would be really easy for me to vent my frustrations in this post, what good would it do me? It would simply leave the small amount of control the thief scarpered with last night in tact and serve no real purpose. No, I would rather forgo the rant and focus on the lessons learnt - that way a negative experience can have positive impact on my life... So the next time shit happens (and it always does) I urge you to do the same.

Legoman out...

The media still really annoy me!

So recently I've not been able to open a newspaper without coming across the running total of soldiers killed in the Afghanistan conflict - so far the count is up to 204 and trust me those newspaper editors are just waiting for the call from their correspondants, giving them the chance to chuck the magic number of 205 on the front page. It reminds me of the way the media reported the knife crime problems of 2008. Check out my thoughts on that here if you want.

Once again the media has either missed the point entirely or are ignoring it for the sake of moving units and selling product. Here's the thing, by joining the armed forces a person places their life and potential loss of life in the hands of those in command; either their superiors or the politicians who decide which conflict is worth fighting. And those people who do decide to enlist are much braver and all together nobler than I. But I can’t sit here and listen to the media keep score on the number of deaths in an active conflict (and it’s not as if the numbers on civilian casualties is being given the same amount of coverage either) without feeling slightly stupid - it’s as if they are treating me like I have the brain of a lobotomised cockroach addicted to crystal meth!

When they feign indignation at the death of a soldier and then immediately begin to ask why Britain is in Afghanistan in the first place, it can only be unhelpful. Surely instead of the running totals and the lampooning government ministers the media (and us as a nation) should be asking looking to be as informed as we can be and asking different questions to get said information.

In my view, the question is not why Britain are in Afghanistan (they are there for a number of reasons, but the most pressing is that the country needs rebuilding, 8 years of military struggle have levelled it and they are not there alone!) but whether NATO is still an effective world peace keeping force? Or even whether the use of military force is sufficient to resolve this occupation and if not, what is being done to supplement the military efforts.

Surely intelligent journalism or insightful news reporting has not deserted us yet or have our news services decided that treating us all like we have the combined intellect of the Big Brother housemates is best way for us to know what’s going on in the world in 2009. I guess a little perspective is too much to ask for?

RIP Michael Jackson 1958 -2009

There's not much I can say to be honest. As I sit here listening to the news reports about one of the biggest influences on pop culture of all time moving on to another plain of existence; all I know is that I am sad... and a little mad.

Sad because Michael was one of the greats. A truly talented performer that could make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up with just one whether he's hitting that high note to start 'Don't Stop Till You Get Enough' or defying gravity with that lean in the Smooth Criminal video. And I am mad because the media who have hounded him for the past six years are now trying to sympathise with those of us who loved him. For anyone trying to learn how to be truly ungenuine - just watch the news being reported right now.

Anyway, I don't want to be negative...Michael maybe gone but he will live on for all time through his music and the memories he left the people of my generation. The moonwalk, the ingenious videos, his voice and of course the amazing music. So much of my childhood had Michael's music as a soundtrack. I still remember dancing, with two of my Childhood friends Robert and Nana, to Thriller in their living room trying to get the moves down - we were only about nine!

So here's to you Michael, you rocked my world and were one of the artists that made me fall in love with music. You were taken from us far too early, but I guess one of your own songs can express it much better than I ever could...

Guess who's back... your boy is back!

So I know I've been pretty silent for months (ok completely silent) I thought it might be a good idea to come back and blog again. There were a couple of reasons why I stopped writing but the big one was that I felt nothing around me inspired me. (plus I have no job so nothing to distract me). Since I last blogged, I've realised three things:

1. Losing your job makes me question whether you can actually do anything else
2. Jeremy Kyle is a guilty sin that you can become addicted to - watching Oprah is like my rehab
3. I've finally realised inspiration comes from within - the outside world is merely a catalyst

So with those things in mind and to quote a wordsmith more talented than I - "Yeah ma, your dude is back, maybach roof is back. Tell the whole world the truth is back"

Watchmen - A Review

OK, the secrets out; I might as well admit it... I am a comic book geek. It's true, I like graphic novels - please don't hold it against me, but we've all got our vices right? But I got into them later on in life than most of the fan boys out there. So that doesn't mean I can tell you what happened in third panel of the eighth page of book #57 of The Amazing Spiderman, but it does mean I'm partial to the odd comic book movie and probably feel it more when Hollywood destroys a perfectly good premise with a war zone's worth of explosions (that's right X-Men 3: The Last Stand, I'm talking about you).

One movie that I'll be looking forward to is Watchmen and with that in mind read and the fact it was a Christmas present, I decided to read the graphic novel. The front cover proudly boasts that it's one of Time Magazines top 100 novels (not graphic novels, novels!). It shares list space with some of my favourite pieces of work. Ralph Ellison's The Invisible Man, Harper Scott Lee's To Kill a Mocking Bird even George Orwell's 1984. Even I wondered what the heck it was doing on the list.

The story is set against the backdrop of a tense 1985 were America and the Soviet Union are still embroiled in a Cold War and nuclear attacks are a distinct possibility. Masked vigilantism, once accepted and even celebrated by society is now outlawed, with most heroes retired and keeping a low profile. Only one is still active and it's his investigation into the death of a fellow costumed hero starts a chain of events that drives the story to it's jaw dropping climax. Cue conspiracy theories, plot twists and more intrigue than should theoretically even exist within the pages of anything labeled a children's medium. I'll admit, the art work of Dave Gibbon's can be hard to get to grips with but luckily Alan Moore's story telling and attention to detail ensures that once you do, it's clear it's appearance on Time Magazine's top 100 novels is completely justified.

I'm not going to give any of the story away, but this is definitely one of the most original takes on the 'Hero' genre and much of what has followed in that ilk owes much to the vision of Alan Moore. The show Heroes owes it's entire first season plot to Watchmen (and actually most of the third)! Even if you're not a comic book fan, I'd recommend reading this one novel... not because it'll change your thoughts on the medium, but because from a literary point of view you owe it to yourself.

Update - 07/03/2008

I went to see Watchmen last night and while I was slightly disappointed with some alterations - but the changes were completely understandable. The problem is not with the film itself, it's with the advertising, leading the general population to expect a different film to the one they actually get. It's been sold as another ensemble superhero movie, when in reality most of the main characters feel nothing but isolation. Still worth my entry fee though and it's been a while since I said that after going to the movies!

The fallacy of normality

I often wonder when people talk about being normal, what exact measure of normality they are measuring against. I mean what's normal to me might not be normal to you or that person taking a sneak peak at these words behind you right now (made you look!). Anyway, back to my point... normality. You might wonder why I'm talking about what I see is the fallacy of normality... well it's just that a few things have happened recently that made me think. Just two of them are:

1. A group called Schools Out want primary educators to have specific information taught in primary schools about lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender families.

2. Cerrie Burnell, the new Cbeebies presenter sparked some negative responses from parents worried that her disability would scare children or that the BBC had taken equal opportunities too far.

While these instances are completely unrelated, I think they share a core fundamental - they are both instances where people are reacting to what they see as an affront to their normality. Schools Out is confronting the presentation of the traditional family as normal in schools (as that doesn’t fit in with their notion of the regular) and those parents took offence to what they saw as an affront to the normality they had presented to their children.

It just seems to me that so many people are so obsessed with reshaping the world to fit in with their personal definition of normality (there are times when this is justified, but I'll leave this for another post). But the thing with your definition of normality is that it's yours… everyone’s idea is going to vary to at least some degree.

But what's so wrong with being different? What's wrong with having your own unique outlook, experience, views or even physicality? Now I don't want you thinking that I don't believe abnormal outlooks and behaviour exists. There is a base level of normality that we all work to and some people dwell beneath that. Some fly so far below that line they're practically pond skimming the surface of sanity. (Relationships with life sized silicon sex dolls - hello people. Put the over sized Barbie down!) But for the most part if the expression of your alternate outlook doesn't harm anyone (including yourself), what's the big deal. So a BBC presenter has one arm? So what... is she a good presenter? So primary schools don't teach about alternative family units - how about we stick to teaching our children how to read, write and count first? Let's leave the talk of sexual preferences until they reach secondary school and if that's too late for you, you as a parent play a more active role in educating your child.

Ultimately normality is a fallacy because we are all different; we should be celebrating those differences not trying to eradicate them, amalgamate them or hide them away. We're different races and sexes. We've had different upbringings, shared different experiences, have different preferences. We have different dreams, different goals and different plans on how to realise them. And you know what, that's ok because we share one fundamental element - our humanity. It's the one undeniable truth that enables us to be different, while all pretty much being the same. And if we're all the same, then we're not that different at all really.

Sins of the father...(or mother for that matter)

Now, the fact that I've only just heard about the Chris Brown-Rhianna incident could indicate that I've spent the last three weeks living in some semi catatonic state amongst nomadic goats in the highest hills of East Africa, or it could just be indicative of my interest in the celebrity culture that’s seems to have the majority of people between the ages of 13 and 40 practically salivating at the prospect of finding out who John Mayer is sleeping with next. Sure I'll sneak a look at 'Flava of Love' as readily as the next guy (or even watch a whole episode of Run's House - his final message is always worth it) but when it comes to staying up to date with what famous people are doing, save their actually field of work, I usually steer clear of their shenanigans. So when the reports of problems between Chris Brown and Rihanna first surfaced, I really didn't pay much attention. I'm not even going to get drawn into the details surrounding the case because I think we all know what's alleged to have happened and plus the gossip sites have gone into overdrive with all sorts of nonsense. For example, from www.inquisitr.com, I found the following:

Sources allegedly close to Brown allege that the fight leading to the domestic violence incident occurred because Rihanna gave Chris Brown herpes.

And how did Rihanna end up with an STD to begin with? Claims are that she picked it up from Jay-Z!

I mean what the heck, how do you even begin to come up with something like that?! Sources, what sources? The only source that could possibly come up with that was probably made by Heinz (ok, bad joke I admit it freely). But after some digging and fact checking on less ridiculous sites, I came across quotes from Chris Brown admitting that, between the ages of seven to thirteen, he and his mother had both been the victims of domestic abuse at the hands of someone close to both of them. It got me thinking about how our experiences as children stay with us into our adult existences.

People often describe children as sponges, absorbing the information around them consciously and subconsciously. Usually this serves us well as it helps us to develop. It gives us the opportunity to pick up a number of skills that would take considerably more effort to pick when we are older. If you think about it you can trace so much of yourself to the things you witnessed or heard as a youngster - views on different races, different sexes, how you treat strangers, even your own self worth. Traced back to a time when you were aware of everything and nothing at he same time.We internalize so much that we're not aware of until a situation presents us with a chance to react. But I think this Chris Brown case shows what can happen if the things you witness in your childhood, therefore what you internalize, are less than positive. That's why I think hurt people hurt or those with absent fathers are more likely to be absent fathers themselves. Or how 13 year old father Alfie Patten who is one of nine and his 15 girlfriend who is one of five (indicating that both their sets of parents had children at a young age, maybe even in their teens) find themselves one more teenage couple raising a child in Britain? Everything is cyclic and if an issue is passed from parent to child, it's going to keep being passed down until someone breaks the chain.

Now I don't want you thinking that I'm excusing abhorrent behaviour purely because of what people have gone through in their youth, but what I am saying is there is usually a reason why people do certain things. Unless we have the self awareness or the introspective nature to discover negative issues (large or small) left over from childhood and address them, we're are never going to know how or why they influence our everyday decisions or how to stop that negativity. Making us all susceptible to our very own Chris Brown moment (obviously not literally).

Change is underrated...

You know what I’m tired. As I sit at my computer, the noise of the keyboard beneath my hands creating a symphony of words that translate into the sentences you read - I am tired. Not physically tired. Not even emotionally tired; tired of the ever apparent stagnation that surrounds me. Why is it that so many things have changed in recent months, yet so much seems to have stayed the same. Obama gets into the White House on the promise of change and bipartisanship, yet nearly every Republican in the house objected his economic stimulus plan. HBOS just recently received £17 million from tax payers to ensure the bank’s survival but suddenly, due to their merger with the Lloyds Banking Group, another tax payer funded bail out is probably going to be needed. There's even another Friday the 13th movie being released (we've already had Halloween and the Texas Chainsaw Massacre)!

Seriously am I living in the Tardis where time and space continually repeat themselves in some annoying Central Perk feedback loop? Honestly, I liked Friends when it was on the first, second or even fifth time around but did that show not end like over four years ago – why is it still on TV? Wouldn’t any one who wanted to watch episodes for the 19th time already have the DVDs... why punish the rest of us with Monica and the rest running around like it's 1994 and no one of even the remotest hint of ethnicity lives in New York city? "Could it BE any more tiresome?"

Anyway, back to my point... I guess the big things don't change until you address the little things. Sick of Friends reruns - change the channel. Hate sloppy remakes of classic 70's slasher movies - don't buy a ticket. Sick of the banks getting tax payer's money - demand something is done differently. They say that one man (or woman) can make a difference. I don't agree with that and not just as it was said in reference to a guy who had been bitten by a radioactive spider, could walk up walls and shoot webbing from his wrists. I think it takes more than one person to make a difference, but it doesn't take more than one person to inspire the chain reaction that ultimately leads to a new path. The thing about change, real change, is it's a personal journey that can start with the most innocuous of choices. All it takes is the smallest decision to do something. A single action, reaction or moment of inaction can start us on a path to success, failure or indifference. For example a teenage Barack Obama decided to go to Chicago after college and become a community organiser, a small decision that has ultimately lead him to the White House.

So instead of bemoaning the current predicament, like I've been doing for the entirety of this piece, maybe we should be looking to effect positive change in our lives and the lives of those closest to us. In our attitudes, our shared experiences and our communities. Starting with an alternative ingredient to bring about a new end product... because change is progress and progress is truly living. Without progress we might as well all be seated in front of another Friends rerun for the 20th, 21st, 22nd time... Are they on a break, aren't they on a break - oh the suspense!

Who is he?

So I just got through reading Dreams From My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance written by President Obama. I don't think I need to tell any of you how good it was and if you haven't read it, get it on your book list without delay.

What I will say about it, is I don't think anyone has articulated the experience trying to unify two cultures as clearly as he. It made me think back to my youth. My experiences growing up and feeling like I didn't really belong in either of my cultures... so with my mind travelling back to my teenage years, I wrote my first poem in almost three years... here goes:

Who is he?

Who is he?
The son of of an African immigrant, that's what he calls himself,
comprised of elements of entities he barely understands.
A name with meanings he can no longer pluck from the memories of his lost heritage,
and a language who's words and tones leave him frozen, unsure of what direction he is being pointed.
Constantly searching for an answer to a question eve n more foreign to him than his place in this western world.
"Who am I really?"

Who is he?
The son of an African immigrant, that's what they call him,
In their eyes a swirling stereotype to be misunderstood and feared.
They see his walk as lacking in true purpose, yet so full of arrogance,
He's one of us through documentation only - a paper thin association.
"Who does he think he is? Really!"

Who is he? He's the son of an African immigrant.
As unsure of himself and his world is unsure of him.
Trying to unite two histories, just for the chance at one destiny,
terrified his fraudulent duality is one well placed question away from discovery.
Who is he? He's the son of an African immigrant.
Who is he?... He is me

An open letter to Carol Thatcher or your average Daily Mail reader

Dear Mrs. Thatcher,

Do you know, when I sat down to write this letter it was supposed to be a thoughtful piece of correspondence on racial tolerance, the importance of circumstantial context and above all an semi investigation into the mentality of someone who could possibly have innocently compared a black tennis player to a childhood toy.

But as my fingers strike the keys of my laptop and deep fury is bubbling inside me. One which is rising from the pit of my soul and hijacking each and everyone of the neural pathways that carry information from my brain to the tips of my digits. There's a battle raging between my thoughts and my heart, and the heart is winning, convincingly. Overriding the intellectual response I want to give and causing me to give in to my desire to react emotionally. Luckily through my years of writing I have learnt to channel my feelings, so this will be no mere rant.

Mrs. Thatcher, I am angry and what follows is an analysis of that anger and your part in it's creation.

1. You offended me

Whatever the intention behind the statement made in the Green Room, you caused offence. You offended the people within ear shot and you offended me and you offended any other person that chooses to take offence. The term Golliwog has a history attached to it, a history of disparaging remarks against people of another race, this in itself means the word is loaded. A racial slur is a racial slur and just because a golliwog was once a childhood toy based on the Black Minstrel Show it soon became a way in which to hurt the feelings of fellow human beings. A person of your generation would know how this word was and still is used, so why you would choose to use it is beyond me, but I digress.


2. Your arrogance

While you using the term golliwog made me angry, your reaction to the response has added the paraffin to the proverbial flame. Why can you not just accept that while you didn't mean to, you insulted a large number of people, of all races. Accept it, say you didn't mean to cause offence, say you're sorry and move on. But the subconscious arrogance that you feel justifies you in this case just won't let you, will it? I mean anyone who is upset that you compared/called a black man a golliwog just didn't understand the humour and shouldn't be offended. That’s fine but if I was to say that you wouldn't look out of place on one of those Crystal Meth before and after adverts showing the results of years of drug abuse and you look like at any given moment your face is about to cave in on itself like a crème brulee baked by a blind paraplegic chef with arthritis in their neck, you might take offence but then I'd just say you don't get it. Can you see what I'm getting at???


3. The right wing media and their bullshit

Why is it that when something racially charged happens, the right wing media immediately try and pass the event off as a joke. Is the whole world full of comedians? Are we all just walking around telling each other jokes? I don't understand. While situations like the Prince Harry incident are unfortunate, you can at least explain that the prince and his Asian colleague, as with all friends, have an understanding of what is acceptable within the bounds of their relationship and what is not. But for the most part, in incidents like yours Mrs. Thatcher or that of Ron Atkinson, or the Shilpa Shetty affair in the Celebrity Big Brother house, the right wing media always tries to turn the remark or action into a bit of friendly banter or worse turn the aggressor into the victim. But while painting the situation into a case of a joke misunderstood, they are in fact insinuating that people who take offence have no sense of humour - I'm sorry I reject that argument, I have a fantastic sense of humour, in fact, I'm the funniest person I know... I'll tell you joke to prove it:

Person 1: Knock knock...

Person 2: Who's there...

Person 1: A Stu...

Person 2: A Stu who???

Person 1: A Stupid old woman who still thinks racially slurs are acceptable in this day and age and who should really learn to keep her archaic descriptive terms to the privacy of her own home!

See, I'm a regular stand-up comedian!

4. Small mindedness

Seriously, admitting a mistake is not the end of civilization, it's not the liberal left taking over and it certainly isn't the end of England. She got sacked, get over it. So why is it that when someone makes an error in judgement, whether the cause of that error is subconscious racism, ignorance or just plain stupidity that some people get up in arms and claim that freedom of speech has been impeded. Here's the problem with that rational is that if you and the rest of your Daily Mail reading regiment want to bleat on about the right to make racially charged comments and then protect them with the blanket of freedom of speech, then you have to accept that people who are offended by said comments have the freedom to speak out against them - that's the whole point of freedom of speech.

I guess that's all I have to say on the matter Mrs. Thatcher, and I feel I have wasted enough time on you and your actions. I should spend my time and effort engaging with people who actually matter... but I just had to tell you how I felt.

Yours

Mofoluwaso Merriman-Johnson (or if that's too hard to pronounce, just call me Golly!)

It's snow wonder I'm pi$$sed!

Ok, so the title of this post is a little cheesy - ok, it's down right Stilton-esq and could have a place in one of the red top fish and chip carriers masquerading as newspapers. But I couldn't help it, I'm am thoroughly annoyed.

As I sit here and type, the world outside my window has come to a complete standstill and with it my ability to comprehend exactly why. I mean snow isn't exactly a new phenomenon; the freezing of water particles as they travel through to upper atmosphere has been happening since, well, the ice age and probably before! Yet all it takes is a few inches (and let's be honest it's not like we're talking feet here) and nothing works. The entire bus network - closed. The tube network - almost completely crippled. The trains - once about as unreliable and a 19th century pregnancy test have been rendered as useful as a Zimbabwean electoral vote by the snow.

What I can't get my head around are two major thoughts that keep swirling around my mind like the now outside my window

1. Britain has never been a tropical country!

I mean if cold weather was a relatively new thing to the United Kingdom, I might be able to put into perspective or even deal with the fact that the facilities in this country can't handle the cold. But it's not. It has been cold, will stay cold and get colder (if the North Atlantic Drift temperature drops any more). Seriously was everything designed in the height of summer while the engineers sipped on chilled lemonade? But then again, nothing seems to work at 100% when the weather is warm either, so I guess that theory's out the proverbial window. How a cold country counts on a transport system that fails in cold weather and continue to do nothing about it is beyond me. It's like letting a narcoleptic drive you home at night time!

2. How come everyone else can handle it?

USA, Canada, Norway, Sweden, Switzerland... just a few of the countries around the world that manage to survive the 'game changing' occurrence of snow settling on the ground. If they can handle it why can't we? Even if we don't create our own solutions to the problems is it not an idea to pilfer some of their initiatives that keep the country moving in times of adverse weather? The government was quick to call over former New York Mayor Rudy Guiliani to teach the Met police about the three strikes code of practice. Oh I forgot, politicians only take the really crappy ideas and implement them (Identity cards anyone?), silly me.

I don't really know what I am trying to say here, short of things need to be sorted, and someone needs to sort them. Although, I guess I might be being a little harsh, I mean if the country hadn't ground to a halt under the enormous weight of one foot of snow, I wouldn't be at home writing this when I was supposed to be working. And 'The thoughts of an afro-legoman' would have remained as empty as they have done for months. I guess I shouldn't complain at all then, but what fun would that be?