The Second Lesson - John Mayer is a douche

Yeah that's right, I said it. John Mayer for all his 'Waiting for the World to Change' antics is pretty much a douche and here lies the second lesson. Now don't get me wrong, I love his music (Continuum is my album right there and Gravity is my tune). But having caught wind of his Playboy interview I kind of find myself feeling like he's a little bit of a big mouthed... ummmm, what's the word I'm looking for, oh yeah DOUCHE! But I don't actually think he is a racist, maybe a dirty dawg, but not a racist.

Sure he used the 'N'word, but when I read it I immediately saw the context of his sentence and there was no malice in it, he was simply highlighting the foolishness of the question about his so called 'hood pass'. I know he shouldn't have used the 'N' word, but all it would need would be for someone to pull him aside and say "You know what John, that's never cool for you to say." If he repeats it again, then cyber space can deride him as whatever they like.

And as for his comments on not dating black women, I know plenty of people who wont date outside their race and they aren't labelled racists, they simply have a type of person they go for. Plus why would anyone want to date him when his M.O. is pretty much do the dirt then tell the world about it - not exactly a great dating experience (tell me if I'm wrong ladies). As far as I can tell, he's only getting such a hard time because he's a celebrity. If he were John the tube driver, no one would give a rat's crusty ass  who he wanted to date.

I honestly think there are more important things to be worried about right about now than if some musician drops an 'N-Bomb'. I mean last time I checked there's still devastation in Haiti, people are talking about racial profiling in transport hubs to combat terrorism, a general election is on it's way and we're still in the grip of a credit crunch. I don't know about you but that's all a little more interesting than John Mayer and his obviously far too big of a mouth!

Lessons learned!

So it’s been well over a month since I wrote my last piece and a lot of things have changed since then. I moved house. Got robbed (which is part of the reason I’ve not written – they stole my laptop). Been on holiday to Nigeria. Welcomed in 2010 and bought myself a new Macbook Pro - which is the reason I started writing again. There are so many topics that I feel like I need to address, but I can’t do it all in one piece, so I think I might start a series. Maybe like a five part series on the lessons I have learned since my last post (and trust me there are a few of them). And you know me (actually you don’t but anyway), I’ve always believed that when life is teaching you a lesson, it’s best to sit up and pay attention so you don’t need to repeat the class over and over and over again.

Lesson 1: Apple Macs are kind of cool

Ok so I know I might be a late comer to this party, but better late than never right? My Mac has given me a new lease of life for writing. Ok so it hasn’t, simply having a computer again did that. But having such a comfortable and intuitive machine does help. All I want to do recently is write (that and play Mass Effect 2 like a huge video game geek). I know that simple technology shouldn’t be the inspiration for my creative outlets but I often look back at the days I would carry 5 or 6 note books around, full of scribbles, anecdotes and whatever section of my debut novel I was working on at that time. You know what I’ve learned - if you’re going to carry something around you might as well make it as sexy as a Macbook (pro). So I guess this post is more about introducing you to Applonia (that’s her name by the way) as much as it has been about me reminiscing about pukka pads and sharpie pens!

Disney, oh why do I love you so?

So in the last post I admitted to watching Twilight and Sex & the City and now here I am admitting to loving Disney - but I promise I’m not really a 13 year old girl. It’s just all this excitement around the new movie The Princess & the Frog. In the days of Pixar and 3D it’s nice to see Disney going back to basics and hand drawing a movie again. But what’s more it’s a freakin’ musical! Is it me or has it been too long since Disney made a good old fashioned musical? Between Disney movies and Michael Jackson I acquired a love for music from an early age - but anyone who was between the ages of 4 and 10 since 2003 has been missing out. I’m going to watch it on Friday so I’ll be writing a review on it then - suffice to say I’m excited. If you’re excited like me, then here’s a little reminder of just how good Disney can be:

What ever happened to being an A man?

Ok, so I probably shouldn't admit this, being the proud alpha male I am, but last week I went to the cinema to watch Twilight Saga: New Moon. I know, I know... my status as an alpha male is in jeopardy, but hey I went to see Sex and the City so I guess I've been on shaky ground for a while! The worst thing about this is I hadn't even seen the first movie so I had no idea of the love between Edward, the 'vegetarian' vampire with a soul (ummm where have I heard that before, Joss Whedon might just want to sue someone) and teenage high schooler Bella.

Now I will admit, I was drawn quickly in to what is a visually stunning and surprisingly well written, acted and directed romance movie where the Bedward (that's Bella & Edward for those who don't know) chemistry is evident and that may be the very reason for this post. New Moon centres on the love triangle that forms when Edward leaves to keep Bella sage. Apparently being around blood thirsty vampires isn't exactly the best way to make it to your 19th birthday. Anyway, I digress, Bella starts hanging out with Jacob, who had obviously been eating some steroid shaped spinach and is now a hard as nails, vampire killing werewolf, and the thrid part of an interspecies love triangle the likes of which the cinema going public has never seen!

Now my issue is not about the film or even the tweenagers in the audience cackling every five seconds. No my problem rests purely on what is generally the emasculation of men. I'm pretty sure it started with Adrien Brody being cast as the leading man in Peter Jackson's King Kong. Our latte sipping hero fought the island's beasties, saved the girls and still had time to write loving prose and pretty much rewrote what it meant to be an alpha male. Even though Naomi Watts' Anne had another option (yes I know he was an 50 foot ape, but in essence he was the embodiment of the stereotypical alpha male).

Fast forward a few years to Twilight, where, for lack of a better descriptive term, Edward the vampire skulks about the place like an emo. He may be 109 years old but he has the emotional intelligence of a Fallout Boy listening 14 year old. God, he looked like he was going to cry in almost every scene and even when he had to show a little bit of fight when taking on the Vulturi to save Bella's life, he got his ass handed to him - repeatedly. And Jacob, the other member of this love triangle, the physically imposing werewolf who spent most of the movie saving Bella's life (from vampires, other werewolves and herself) while keeping her mind occupied was cast as the also ran to RPatts' emo vampire. Once again, the alpha male is recast as the undesirable, leaving Edward to cry his way back into Bella's heart.

But you know what, maybe I'm being harsh, maybe Edward really is a hero, maybe he's not a 100 year old cry baby. (I've since been told that if I had watched the first movie, I would be more sympathetic to Bedward and their love, but as it stands I'm not convinced). I'll save ultimate judgement until the next film though, but for now, I'm squarely in the Wolfpack even if that finishes off the job watching Sex and the City started!

Janet Jackson - you're still my homegirl!

I never watch the X-Factor. Ok that's a lie, but I never watch the live performances. Ok that's a lie too, but I only watch the live performances when there are guest artists worth watching. And in the past few weeks there have been some great performers (if not performances)… we've had cracked out Whitney, the gorgeous Alicia Keys and on Saturday we had the undeniable Janet Jackson.

With the sixth month anniversary of Michael's death fast approaching, I was feeling a little blue but watching Janet perform made me feel a whole lot better. I immediately remembered Rhythm Nation, Nasty and all the other great songs you've given us over the years. And the funny thing is that the void left by Michael's death might just have a little Janet shaped space in it. You helped to remind me that the Jackson legacy is much more than just one man (albeit a great man) and you are still very much alive! So here's to you Janet Jackson, I can't wait for the new album!

Check out the new single here

I miss the 80's...

It's been a while since I updated you guys and I apologies... I will endeavour to be better at this, but with work, social life and just trying to get some rest I've had hardly any time. But you know what, being a busy bee has me thinking of a time when things were so much simpler.

The days of Mr.Freeze, Buckaroo, Dandelion and Burdock, Hulk Hogan (before Brooke). Those were the days when summer's where endless, you were never cold and the only monetary problem you had was having enough for a 10p pack of Chewits and a pack of football cards with the pink bubble gum.

So just in case any of you 80's babies were feeling the same way, here's a videos that made me feel a little better.

Enjoy! Legoman Out!

Lauren London love....

Ok so I don't usually talk about fashion on this blog... I leave that to the experts. But I was watching Keri Hilson's video 'Knock You Down' and was admiring Kanye's leather jacket and Ne-Yo's black cardigan (because let's face it, it's a video that you'd probably watch with the volume down - Keri, I love you, but the only thing the videos got going for it is the styling, the tune is dryer than a Sahara crossing camel's right ass cheek!)

So usually when I like the clothes from a video I spend an age looking for either the item or an almost identical copy. Well on my Internet search, I came across my new favourite site and knew I needed be the one to share it to you. Basically you can watch a music video, hover over an item and find out where to get it as well as a load of other information on the artists or set design and I fell in love with the concept. A lot like the way I've fallen in love with Lauren London (completely superficially and without any prior knowledge - but that's still love right?)

Ummmm, Lauren London, she's so purdy! Sorry excuse me, I get a little carried away sometimes. Back to business... I'm going out on a limb here and stating that I think it's only a matter of time before we're sitting down watching [insert favourite show here] on an interactive TV and buying new clothes at the click of a button. You heard it hear first! Anyway, check out the video and see what you think (although you may want to watch it with the sound down - sorry Keri!)

Wierd Science

I was watching ITV the other day – there is an unsubstantiated rumour that the programme I was watching was the ‘Xtra-factor’. And that is just what it is, a rumour and an unsubstantiated one at that! Anyway, I digress I was watching ITV and an advertisement, probably funded by some government agency, trying to boost the number students choosing to study science came on. On its own this piece of news is as unremarkable as an unremarkable object sitting in a grey room surrounded by other unremarkable things.

But when this is taken with the news (I was watching BBC Breakfast the following morning) that health and safety fears are forcing science teachers to stop children participating in experiments - urging them to watch experiments on the internet instead, then the news suddenly became as ridiculous as Tom Hank’s hair in ‘The Da Vinci Code’!

So the best way of getting children interested in science is to remove as much hands on experience as you can from their lessons and bore them with endless theory? Quick, someone catch me, I think I’m about to faint from the thought of all that excitement. Now this kind of gets my goat on a few levels...
God isn't it lucky that the Health & Safety experts are here to ensure the survival of the human race. I mean it’s not like humans managed to exist for millions of years before they began helpfully pointing out every potential harmful chemical, situation or routine for us. Seriously, I read a report the other day that said children shouldn't be allowed to play in parks because there is lead in the soil. LEAD IN THE SOIL!!!! That’s the whole reason? When I was a kid I’m pretty sure I ate a lot of mud, and guess what I’m still here and I don’t have a foot where my ear should be!

I mean why try to eliminate the practical element of learning when surely it’s one of the best methods of teaching; not only by engaging students but by also teaching them the basics of handling laboratory equipment? That’s an important skill that will be required if they decide to continue in their scientific studies or careers – surely Lab Technicians started somewhere?

I remember when I was studying A-Level Chemistry and even at GCSE Chemistry, we were encouraged to develop a respect for the laboratory and its chemicals, something this ruling would rob from budding scientists. Any really dangerous experiments were done by our teacher or the lab assistant behind a screen – but we still got to experience them!

Honestly, I find it difficult to fathom why we as a society have become so afraid of everything causing us damage. Obviously there are risks to everything we do but if we all lived our lives according to those risks, none of us would leave the bloody house – simply sitting in our padded living rooms, slurping liquidised meals through ergonomically designed straws that disintegrate upon with anything other than our exact genetic material.

Don’t worry though; they would have been designed by scientists that learnt how to do it from the internet!